People are usually surprised by how much an event like the Canterbury earthquake affects them. It frequently changes the way they think, their values, habits, feelings and behaviour. It influences most aspects of their life. Usually people do not expect their families to be affected as much as they are, but a major event or crisis in the life of one member always influences the family.
People usually underestimate the time it takes to recover from an event like this. Although it is made up of individuals, a family is a unit. What changes one member, changes the others. This also means there is a lot that family members can do to help each other in a time of crisis.
A crisis can also bring benefits to a family in the form of greater understanding, closeness or a new appreciation of each other. It can help to sharpen the focus on what is important in life. Sometimes a crisis can bring difficulties or misunderstanding within families. Family members may not understand each others reactions. They may have to adapt their behaviour to cope with these reactions. It may not always be clear how the feelings and bodily reactions are connected with what has happened, especially if they occur sometime after the event.
Most families overcome these problems when they begin to understand why they are occurring and accept that it will take time to recover. Some of the most common reactions to trauma and crisis are listed below.
Some reactions may occur immediately after the crisis has passed and continue for some weeks.
- Spouses/parents may be afraid for their partner’s/child’s safety while away from home.
- Children and adults may have nightmares or develop fears that a fresh crisis will occur to them, or the family member involved.
- Family members may be angry because of the fear and distress they were put through; these feelings may be directed at the family member involved, at each other or at people outside the family.
- Family members may lose trust and confidence in themselves and other people. The world may no longer feel safe, their own welfare may seem uncertain, everything may seem too difficult to manage.
- Children express their insecurity by naughtiness, bed-wetting, changes in eating and sleeping habits, tearfulness and irritability, or reverting to behaviour they have grown out of.
- Emotional turbulence, anger, guilt, sadness, unpredictable behaviour or unreasonable reactions may occur in any family member.
- Communication may be difficult because family members do not know what to say to each other, or they do not feel like talking.