One week on from the initial earthquake, and hundreds of aftershocks later, it is the weekend. A chance to take stock of what will be remembered as an unforgettable week for a generation of New Zealanders, with considerable uncertainty about what may be yet to come.
But much of the Christchurch CBD is accessible again. All over the region, people will be out and around, surveying their surroundings. Some will take the opportunity to re-connect with others, while others will perhaps take a moment to consider their journey so far, and what they might do next.
One group that can often suffer a little from the lock-down that tends to happen during emergency events are adolescents. All sorts of stuff going on in the life of a modern adolescent – family competes for attention with peer groups, cellphones, games consoles, and generally being out and around and exploring the world. However, under the threat of earthquakes and the aftershocks, people are sometimes enforced to spend a lot of time indoors and in cramped spaces. This weekend might provide a bit of release.
Adolescents involved in crisis and emergency events, may not always show their distress outwardly. As a result, adults may misunderstand their needs or find them unwilling to accept help. Adolescents frequently lose the self-assurance they had when younger, but often gain other types of confidence and abilities. Parents, and adolescents themselves, are confused by their inconsistent behaviour. They can think rationally, but have unstable emotions and may not apply logical thinking to real situations. They need support and independence to learn this. They want to be both close to others and time to be alone as they find new ways of relating to people. To communicate with adolescents, these contradictions have to be understood. Moodiness, depression and insecurity commonly alternate with excitement, happiness and adventurousness.
Whereas children are dependent on parents and live within the family, adolescents are usually proud that they could survive on their own. School, peers, other adults and social or sporting groups are a large part of their support network. They often do not feel the family is the life support system it was in childhood. Parents may feel sidelined, but their importance is no less than before, just different.
Adolescents usually don’t understand these changes although they feel the frustration of them. They need their family to be a trusted home base for their adjustment to painful events, but how much they rely on their family to come to grips with what has happened varies greatly from one person to another.
Adolescents are often more involved in doing things than understanding emotions and may lack words to express important feelings. They handle painful events by distracting themselves. They may be immersed in their own feelings and point of view and not recognize adults’ reactions. They may feel threatened when adults try to be logical about painful experiences and not fully understand what is said until later. But their behaviour often shows they have taken notice even when they don’t acknowledge it. It is important to allow time for them to work things out and not demand immediate feedback. Parents’ own anxiety may make adolescents confused and guilty or cause them to reject the parent’s emotions to protect themselves.
Jump down to Part Two of Helping Adolescents for more.